July 6, 2016
Cheryl had a bad boss and that’s all she could talk about. Her time at work was consumed by a hypervigilant alertness to signs he was about to yell at her and humiliate her, so much so that her performance declined markedly. Then, outside of working hours, she also focused on him to the exclusion of all else. Every blue Falcon that drove past her house was his blue Falcon; every gruff voice overheard in the shopping mall was his gruff voice and every bad dream she had was about him.
Cheryl was like a “boyfriend bore” in reverse, with every detail about her bad boss analysed in excruciating detail, only she wished he would disappear for good, for which she felt guilty.
That’s the weird thing about a person with a bad boss – the more awful the boss, the more time, attention and space he or she takes up in the person’s consciousness.
Well now here’s good news – you can make your bad boss disappear (without actually killing him). The secret strategy I’m about to share with you demonstrates the universal truth of the premise: “your focus creates your reality.”
You see, Cheryl’s bad boss was all the worse because of the space he took up in her consciousness. In reality, he was only present for two hours of her work day, yet his presence in her consciousness was 24/7.
Therefore, in order to dramatically change her experience, Cheryl needed to shift her focus. Your focus is easily controlled by your imagination, which is the key to the bad boss disappearing act. Here is the strategy:
Imagine you’re in front of a computer screen, in which there’s a photo editor. In the editor is an image of your bad boss; it looks something like this:
See how large he appears on the screen as he threatens one of his employees? Now we will make him disappear using the following three ways:
There’s a resize function in the photo editor to make your bad boss appear smaller. You can even shrink him to the size of a pinhead if you wish.
There’s an exposure function in the photo editor. If you drag it all the way to the right, your bad boss simply fades to white.
There’s an opacity function in the photo editor. If you drag it all the way to the left, your bad boss fades until he becomes completely invisible.
For ease of use, imagine a large dial in the centre of your forehead that you turn to the left to make your bad boss simultaneously smaller, fade to white and invisible – as well as turning down the volume on his voice. Each time he appears in your consciousness, simply use the dial until he fades to more manageable dimensions, or even disappears altogether. See how well it works?
This strategy will only work if you practice it – and it does require substantial practice for it to be effective. However, the moment you stop, your bad boss will reappear.
In order to be truly effective, you have to set up a structure within your consciousness where your bad boss doesn’t exist at all. In other words, you have to become a disciplined curator of your consciousness. A curator has the final say in what gets included and what gets left out. There should be a very high barrier to entry regarding quality, just like a prestigious fine art gallery that will only display the very best of photographs on its walls.
You may think me whimsical for this rather quirky strategy; but it works!
To get more skilled in using this strategy, it helps if you have a daily mindfulness practice.
To find out how to practice mindfulness, which will taker you deeper into inner peace and reconnect with your creativity, download your free resource guide, “The Silence of Mindfulness: A Simple Guide To Inner Peace And Emotional Wellbeing” here.
As a Work Stress Strategist, Author and Doctor of Psychology, I've had over 20 years' experience helping clients recover from stress, anxiety and depression as a result of relationships with toxic people at work (e.g. your bad boss) and at home (e.g. an emotionally abusive partner). I’m especially interested in helping professional women, who, in mid-career, find themselves working in a toxic work environment with a bad boss but fear to leave because there seems no other way to pay the bills. My clients long for a transition into a free spirited life and I help them find their voice, their confidence and their ambition to succeed so as to put them firmly back in the driver's seat of their own lives so they call the shots. I also help my clients develop their imagination, intuition and spirituality - because often that's what it takes to get out of a stuck place. I've written two books: "Stressed, Depressed And Dreading Mondays What Smart Career Professionals Can Do To Claim Their Life Back” and contributed a chapter to the edited book by Anton Hout: “What Every Target Of Workplace Bullying Needs To Know.” I've appeared on Channel 10, 6PR, 92.9FM, Huffpost Live and WA Today and had articles published in PsychCentral, Women's Agenda, NineMSN Health, Rebelle Society and Witch magazines. I'm currently a regular Huffington Post contributor (under my pen name).